Respect and Respectability

 

     I am amazed how time passes like wind through the trees, unless you look directly at them for changes, it becomes unnoticed. I thank Allah that we don't wake up one day and look into the mirror and all of the wrinkles and gray hair appears overnight. He prepares us slowly for the privledge to grow old.  I don't mind being called Ma'am as long as I still feel like a Miss inside.

 

   As parents we have another huge task teaching the youth about what growing old means and how to treat those who are older than us. The other day a man asked my son to help him with holding the door open, my son replied "uh yeah sure." I was a bit startled. I walked my son to the door and told him to refer to this man as Uncle or Aamu, since he was an Arabic speaking Muslim man who he knows well. It was clear to me how he should be addressed, of course my son wasn't indignant, he just replied with a certain casualness that was uncomfortable to me.

 

        My son had pressed the issue and said should a say the same thing to a man at the bank? (referring to a non-muslim non-arabic speaking) I thought about the issue, it is two set of rules to live by, even though we are using these rules because of the different cultural norms. He knows one man and doesn't know the other. I said for those who you don't know Sir is a standard form of respect and Ma'am for a woman. I address people differently I don't call my friend Suzy and begin the conversation with Khafa Haluk, and she hasn't told me she minds yet.